I’m sitting alone in my hotel room in China, clothes scattered on the floor, looking at this collection and thinking “what the fuck is next?”
If I’m being honest, I’m not a good writer. My girlfriend always nags me about reading more to help my writing, so maybe getting these thoughts down is a start.
For the longest time after releasing this recent collection, I kept questioning what the right angle for this brand should be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of what we made. Like really fucking proud. When I started this journey 2 years ago, I vividly remember telling Waley, “yo we could easily bang this out in 2 months - tops”. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We pretty much spent the first 4 months just fucking up, from overspending on fabrics to getting screwed by manufacturers. The more I learned, the more I realized just how much I don’t know. However somewhere along the fuck ups, you meet a couple of people who make the journey worthwhile. Shoutouts to aleung. And after all the mistakes, all the lessons and finally putting this collection out into the world- I was left with this one question: what the hell is next?
I started INBTWN as a way to express this feeling I’ve always had of being in the middle. Not fully Chinese but not fully westernized. At first, I thought that meant the brand had to proudly represent Chinese culture in a direct and literal way. Every collection needed some obvious Chinese element. And if it didn’t, then it didn’t fit in. But the harder I pushed to maintain that strict identity, the more trapped I felt. Burnt out, even.
After spending the last 2 months living in China trying to fit in, I realized that my identity isn’t something that needs to be proven- rather it’s a filter. Chinese culture already shapes the way I see things, whether I’m aware of it or not. It’s in my taste, my sense of humor, and the little details I’m drawn to without always knowing why.
And maybe that’s what INBTWN really is.
It’s not about making every piece visibly Chinese. Like slapping a dragon design over a T-shirt to prove where the inspiration came from. It’s about making pieces that could only come from someone shaped by that culture. Not because the reference is obvious. But because the feeling is. Like that first bite of tomato and eggs that your mom makes after you come home from a long trip. You can explain the ingredients. But you can’t explain why it feels like home.
That’s the part I’m trying to chase.
Not the most obvious version of culture.
The most honest one.